


Her World

by Mikuxmew85



Category: Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice
Genre: Cinnamon Roll, F/M, Others - Freeform, hellblade, is she okay?, senua - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-09-10
Updated: 2018-07-23
Packaged: 2018-12-26 03:16:55
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 7
Words: 11,635
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12050157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mikuxmew85/pseuds/Mikuxmew85
Summary: Her world was completely different than the one across her window... Strange how a few bars could separate the Darkness from the Light. Senua had given up trying to live opposite the Darkness, until she saw him. He radiated Light, it seemed to envelop everything around him. Seeing that was enough and she knew, she wanted that Light. She wanted to fight.





	1. The Arrival

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: If you, or anyone that you know has been affected by any of the issues presented in Hellblade: Senua's Sacrifice, please don't be afraid to reach out to talk to someone. To learn more, please refer to the games website under the 'Mental Health Support' tab.
> 
> Also, this is my first fan fiction for this site. This is also posted on my account on fanfiction.net , my name is the same there as it is here.

The world just outside of her window was far different from her own, no matter how much she looked, nothing ever changed. Until one day. Past the huts that aligned themselves along the fence that marked the limits of their village, past the village center where she would see other villagers passing by ever now and again, even passed the Chief's house at the forefront standing as a beacon of protection for his people. Her eyes had locked on him, up the hill of brightly colored flowers standing beneath the tree. He was just far enough to be alone, but thankfully close enough that she could see. Every movement that he made was like a graceful dance that only he could do. From the tiny confines of her room, she had attempted to mirror his moves in hopes that it would bring her closer to him... to the light he seemed to carry.

_What is she doing?_

Senua gasped, stopping her hand mid swing.

_**What does she hope to accomplish?** _

They were back.

**She does realize he's not going to let her out right?**

The Others.

_~~Does she?~~ _

Why now?

_Of course she does!_

What had she done?

**No she doesn't.**

Was this the will of the gods?

_Yes, she does! Are you stupid?_

What was she being punished for now...? Senua covered her ears, screwing her eyes shut as tight as they would go. Of course she knew better deep down. The Others wouldn't go away just by closing her eyes and wishing that they weren't there. If that would've worked, perhaps her mother wouldn't have taken her own life in order to escape from the Darkness. Perhaps she wouldn't be confined in her small room, surrounded by the images the Others had forced her to scrawl onto the stone walls. They wanted to remind her that she was cursed, that her soul was corrupted. She was a burden. _A demon_. **Evil**. ~~Pathetic~~. **_Worthless!_**

"Mother..." She begged in a tiny voice, collapsing to her knees, pressing her hands to her ears so hard that she started to feel pain. "Help me please..." The laughing could be heard. It started soft at first, like a humming white noise one hopes to hear to lull them to sleep until it became gradually louder. _Louder_.  Louder. **Louder.**

_Senua..._

"No."

**Senua.**

"Stop."

The desperation in her voice was becoming evident. They knew it.

_**Senua!** _

Quickly, she stood up and opened her eyes, balling her hands into fists. "No! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut up! Shut! Up!" She screamed so loud, her throat hurt and she could hear the echoes of her own voice against the walls. Her breathing was coming in heaves now. Quiet. Yes. That was good. That was needed. That was perfect... Right? Just as Senua was about to breath a much needed sigh of relief, all the laughter began again accompanied with ever increasing footsteps.

**Shh...**

**_Shh!_ **

Do you hear?

_He's coming Senua!_

**Who?**

~~You know who?~~

_Ohh..._

More laughter.

"No..."

The words of the Others became entangled together, making her head hurt. So much to try to listen to all at one time. They all wanted to be heard, but she was trying to focus on the footsteps that had just stopped outside of her door. When the door opened, she stood face-to-face with him. Zynbel. Her father. A Druid priest who was trying to exile the taint of the Darkness from his daughter.

"Senua..." He said, his voice low. It terrified her, made her blood turn ice cold. His eyes seemed to gleam a dark glow from underneath his hood.

"P-Please... I'm sorry... I just-" Before Senua could get her words out, the all too familiar hand and the following crack rang through the room. All in a matter of seconds, she was on the floor, a pain in her head from where it had hit the wall.

"The Darkness is trying to take you, Child!" Zynbel yelled. Senua instinctively reached up to block him, earning more fierce hits anywhere his hands would land. "It's in your soul! You're tainted! Disgusting! Cursed!" With every cry of protest, Zynbel's hands just hit harder against her skin.

"Stop!" Senua begged.

"Only suffering brings salvation! It is the way of the gods!"

Leaving Senua alone once more in her room after trying to purify her, she sat on her knees; defeated. Shamed. Pained. Broken. The smell of her burnt flesh mixed with the food her father left for her made her want to vomit.

**She smells...**

_Senua.. you need to eat._

**_Is she trying to die?_ **

_She can't beat her Darkness._

_**She can.** _

No she can't.

_Of course she can_.

With their taunting words, the laughter began again.

_**Stop laughing.** _

_Why? It's funny!_

**Is it?**

_Of course!_

Tears fell from Senua's blue eyes and onto the stone floor, making small pools beneath her.

_What's that?_

**_Is she crying?_ **

**How pathetic.**

_How disgusting._

The light faded from her world, leaving her with nothing but monochromatic gray. Her eyes focused on one of the stones in her room, watching the little bits of stone fleck from the large stone and fall to the ground. She remembered her mother in these times, when her mother would hold her and tell her stories of the people that she healed. Senua wished to have her mother hold her once more, her's was a voice that could chase away the Darkness. She was Senua's light. Tears continued to fall from Senua's eyes as she stared off into the nothingness. She heard yelling and screaming. Turning around and standing up, she watched in horror as her people ran through the village, large monsters following them. They were on fire, covered with bees, and dripping with ice. Some of the creatures that was invading their village had the flesh dripping off of their bones. They made disgusting piles of flesh on the ground, and Senua could only watch in horror as the ground soaked it in, the grass blackening from the consuming of Hatred and Evil.

_It's them!_

_**Be quiet!** _

~~They'll see~~!

_What are you going to do Senua?_

**I bet she'll run.**

_I bet she'll hide._

**Maybe she'll run _and_ hide! **

~~They're here for you, you know~~.

_They came because of your Darkness!_

**This is all your fault!**

_All your fault!_

Senua could only watch in horror as the creatures took and slaughtered people right in left, blood dripping down walls from where it had splattered. Children were crying and with a loud sound of a blade crashing against stone, the children were quiet. She had to get out of there. To save someone. Anyone!

"Let me out!" Senua screamed, pulling on the door. "Let me out!"

**You're letting them die.**

_Don't you feel it?_

_**Can't you hear it?** _

_All the voices of those you killed._

~~You might as well have killed them yourself~~.

"No... I didn't do it..." Senua cried. The Others continued to scream in her ears, the villagers screaming and gurgling on their own blood as the creatures of the Darkness came out to end all their lives. And her... Senua could fight the Darkness. She could save them, but she couldn't get out... Even as she clawed at the door. Her nails chipped, leaving trails of blood on the door.

_It won't open?_

_**Break it!** _

**Can she?**

_No!_

~~Weak~~!

_Pitiful_!

Evil! Senua collapsed to the floor again, her head against the door. With the echoes of her people murdered along with the accusations of the Others, Senua curled into herself on the floor and covered her ears.


	2. The Rescue?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alone and afraid in her room, Senua can only wait for her impending doom at the hands of the creatures

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so, the reason that I was able to put out two chapters pretty much back to back is because these were the two chapters I had uploaded from the same story on my fanfiction.net account. I'm sorry that the chapters aren't very long in advance and I'm hoping that some time throughout the story, I'll be able to get more length to the chapters. I hope you enjoy.

No matter how much Senua closed her eyes and tightened the grip on her ears, the sounds wouldn't stop. Metallic sounds of the creatures' blades crashing against others, in what she assumed could only be the villagers trying to defend themselves, echoed in her tiny room.

_Do you hear it?_

**The sounds of their pain!**

_**Listen, Senua!** _

_This is all your fault_!

~~You brought them here~~!

What felt like hundreds of laughs filled her head, preventing her from forming a coherent thought. In contrast to the ever increasing laughter in her head, sounds of gurgling now echoed against the ever darkening sky. It was like the gods knew of the terrible massacre that was happening in her village, but instead of stopping it with their supposed almighty power, they settled on making it pour. Senua brought her hands from her ears, the limbs shaking like leaves falling from the tree up on the hill that she had seen him train at. Everything was still.

_What's going on?_

_**Are they all dead!?** _

**Such a pity...**

"No... shut up." Senua said, her voice more meek than she had hoped it would be. Despite her being the only one alive now that could hear The Others, she had to keep them quiet for her sanity and in the off chance that the creatures could somehow hear them as well. Senua made sure that her movements and breaths were as still as she could make them, picking herself up off the floor. Slowly, she peeked over the edge of her barred window, and covered her mouth with her hand quickly to muffle her gasp. Nothing was moving except for the loud pelts of rain against the ever growing muddy ground. Senua looked around in horror, seeing the slain bodies of many of her fellow villagers strewn across the ground. Many of them lay on the ground, blood continuing to flow from the gaping wound in their necks or abdomens. They had been alive only few mere minutes ago. She had heard laughing, talking, children running around, and all the activities that were typically done in merriment around her village.

**Surely you know that this is all your fault.**

_Surely..._

"No... No, it's not..." Senua mumbled, softly not wanting to alert the creatures if there were any still around.

**Don't be silly! Of course it is!**

~~You were angry at them for their smiles~~.

_For their laughter._

**_Their happiness._ **

~~You wanted it all for yourself didn't you~~?

**_You wished that they would die, didn't you?!_ **

"No... I never..." Senua couldn't finish her sentence. The Others knew... they _always_ knew.

**_Don't lie to us!_ **

"I'm sorry... I'm so sorry..." The young girl continued to apologize repeatedly as if trying to drown out the laughter that they continued to spew into her brain. Her blue eyes looked out at the dead bodies littering the muddy ground, this only making her tears flow harder. A loud crack of lightning lit up the sky, illuminating her sight to see one of the creatures peering into her window, their gazes locking. Senua let out a loud, blood curdling scream. Quickly, she backed up as far as her room would allow, but the creature still looked at her, its rotting flesh falling off of its bones, maggots squirming around in what used to be its eyes. Without saying anything, or looking in her direction again, the creature rounded the corner, its footsteps coming closer and closer to the front door. "Please... please... please no..." Senua begged, trying to door. Perhaps, if she could open the door before the creature got inside of her house, she could make a break for it. If the creatures followed her, attracted to her Darkness, perhaps those that were alive—if there was anyone left that is—would end up being safe. However, no matter how much she pulled and pushed at the door blocking her from her exit, it wouldn't budge. Senua looked around for anything to hide under or behind. Looking at her door, and noticing how it opened, she quickly hid behind it, knowing it would cover her when the creature opened it. This was her only hope, her only prayer.

_They're coming for you._

_**Don't you hear it?** _

**Ever closer.**

_Closer..._

_**Closer...** _

**Closer!**

Creaking floorboards sounded through the small home of the girl and her Druid priest of a father. For a split second she found herself worrying about him, was he still alive? Had they gotten to him too? If so, had they killed him? Her thoughts were interrupted by the sounds of the steps coming ever closer to her door. She covered her mouth with both of her hands. Tears continued to spring from her eyes and fall down her face and onto the stone floor. She heard a hand grip the handle and slowly push it open. Fear and terror filled her eyes. That door hadn't opened no matter how much she had pushed, pulled at it, banged it, and willed it to open. So what had happened that gave this creature the ability to open it. Was she right? Had her father perished and they had taken the key from him? Creatures of the Darkness weren't usually that smart. They hunted for prey and craved blood, nothing more and nothing less. They were driven by their desires and hunger, not showing any bit of true sentience. Everything she thought she knew about the Darkness was thrown out the window when the creature peeked his head in and looked around. Senua found herself trying to hold her dry heaving from the putrid smell its rotting flesh and maggot filled sockets caused. Ever so slowly, taking long enough to make her heart stop from terror, the creature had finally left her room. Only once she heard the footsteps trailing away from her door did she let out a shaky breath. She had seen her end, she was sure of it.

**_Unbelievable!_ **

_You escaped._

**Pure luck.**

_Not anything else._

~~Do you honestly believe that you're worth saving~~?

**Of course she isn't!**

_She believes it though!_

_**All she has to do is look inside of herself.** _

~~She knows no one cares about her~~.

Senua had barely had enough time for her shoulders to relax before she heard metal breaking. Looking towards the sound, she saw that her door frame was off of the hinges and there stood the creature that had peeked her head in just moments ago. Impossible! It had faked leaving?! Creatures of the Darkness didn't possess such mental power... was this something else entirely? Her eyes darted around her room, trying to find anything that she could use as a weapon against it. It hadn't move, and just stood there looking at her, bites of flesh falling from its bones. Looking at it, it seemed that no matter how many masses of its flesh or how many maggots fell from its eye sockets, there would always be more to replace it. Her eyes locked onto one of the vases that she had in her room. The young girl quickly picked it up and threw it at the creature and watched as it put its arm up and effortlessly broke it, yet the creature didn't flinch as if it couldn't feel pain at all.

_It's coming for you._

**Run!**

_**Escape!** _

Her hand grabbed a book from behind her and threw it at its face, knocking a great deal of squirming maggots from its eye sockets. If she hadn't have been terrified for her life in that instant, she was sure that she would've retched. While its arms were up, trying to block from the book, Senua darted, seeing her exit to the left of him. The gods were not on her side, however, and just before she exited the room, the creature reached up, his hard bony fist meeting her face with a loud crack! Senua fell like a rag doll to the ground, knocking her head against the bricks. She was sure that her skull had cracked and left flecks of blood on them. Now with blurry vision, all she could do in terms of her defense was hold her hands up and beg for mercy. This couldn't be happening... It couldn't!

"No!" She screamed. "Stop!" Her throat was becoming hoarse from her screamed, but they only increased when it grabbed onto her hair, and yanked, pulling her body along as if she truly were a rag doll. Trying her hardest to pry its bony fingers from her hair yielded no results, it only seemed to tighten its grip on her. Every muscle in her body ached from being dragged along the coarse floorboards of her home and onto the muddy ground where the rain had been washing away the dirt that covered some rocks, leaving them open for her back and arms to scrape against them. "Don't do this! Please!" She screamed.

_Wait... what happens if she dies?_

**Do we die too?**

**_I don't want to die!_ **

_I don't want to die!_

~~I don't want to die~~!

**_We don't want to die, Senua!_ **

The Others begging for their lives did little to still her quickening heart. She was sure that she could hear the sounds of her hair being ripped from her skull with every harsh yank that the creature would produce. She rocked slightly to her side in order to see where he was taking her. Gasping at what she saw, she began to kick her legs. There, in the center of the village was four, including the one now dragging her, creatures. It seemed they all held dominion over something, ice, fire, death, and earth by the looks of them. Senua was far from weak, but without a weapon to speak of, and being surrounded on all sides, the odds weren't in her favor. The one creature that had dragged her kicking and screaming all this way, tossed her into the middle of the four. Skulls looked down at her, holding something between pity and malevolence in their sockets. Senua could do nothing but shake her hands in front of her, hoping to appease them.

"I'm sorry..." She begged. "I don't know why you're here, but... please let me leave!" She begged. "Please... I'll never bother you again, please just let me leave."

**Senua!**

**_Help us!_ **

**We don't want to die!**

_We don't want to die, Senua!_

_**Senua, save us!** _

_Senua!_

**Senua!**

~~_Senua_ ~~ _!_

**_Senua!_ **

Despite her and the Others' pitiful begging, Senua gasped, tears falling down her cheeks as the rotting creature lifted up its sword followed by the other three. Her whole entire life flashed before her eyes, she remembered her mother and how she had fought the Darkness before taking her own life and leaving her with her father. Senua remembered the first time that she saw that man, slicing his blade through the air. She had never gotten the chance to talk to them. Before she could say anything else, all four swords were brought down in the middle of them all repeatedly with all their might, paying no heed to the screams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading. Things will get a little slower from now on sine I am in college and I also work. Trying to find time to write in between can be a struggle, but I'll definitely try my hardest to get it done as quickly as I can. I would appreciate leaving comments or reviews so I can learn and grow as a writer. Thank you very much.


	3. The Light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Her world was suddenly saturated... like an instant painting.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys, for those that like this story, I'm so sorry that it took so long to get out a chapter. I'm usually not like this but I had a lot of things happen and I'm just now starting to get back into the swing of things. I hope this chapter was the worth the wait, and if it's not I'm super sorry. I hope that you can forgive me and that you continue to follow the story.

Senua screamed, the echoes mingling with the air so shocked at the shrillness of her weeping that it rang louder in her ears like the sky was crying for her as well. She felt the blades dig into her skin, tearing the flesh apart and slicing into the veins beneath. No matter how much pain she endured from the slices against her flesh, she didn't die.

“Please! Kill me!” She screamed repeatedly. All she wanted was an end. There was no light in sight and all she knew was the agony of her current situation.

 

_Senua, don't die!_

 

**Senua! You can't die!**

 

_**Please!** _

 

Help us!

 

_Don't give up!_

 

Her gray world turned into black and she couldn't see anything, just feel and hear. Every _swish_ against the air she heard from the swords was another nail in her ever growing coffin. The monsters' flesh continued to drip off their bodies and onto her face and body. Murmurs were heard, muffled and yet loud at the same time. Senua's blue eyes closed tighter and she thrashed around, terrified that someone else was going to come up to her and torture her more than she was already enduring.

 

_Senua, escape!_

 

The footsteps that she heard with the muffled voice came closer.

 

**Get away!**

 

Closer, and closer still. She needed to get away. Now. The monsters were holding her down, their claws and weapons still peeling into her skin, almost like they were trying to pull the flesh from her bones and replace the flesh that was dripping from their own bones.

 

_**Senua! You can't let us die!** _

 

The Others were the least of her worries right now. Those footsteps were running now, keep coming closer. Time felt like it was slowing, even though it was all happening rather quick.

 

“Stop!” A voice rang through the air and pierced through her own screams.

 

_Who is that?_

 

**Who is that?**

 

_**Who?** _

 

“I said, stop!” The voice came again. Surprisingly, the pain stopped against her sliced up skin. Even more surprising, the voice had effectively silenced the Others. It had been the first time in a while that she had been able to have thoughts without the Others looming around and hoping to put their own two cents in. When she looked up, all light had returned to her view immediately saturating her monochromatic world, like an instant painting. The creatures had all disappeared and above her, four men and two women had stopped. In their hands were sticks; thin and fast. Switches. When she was young, she had learned the sounds and the crack of switches when her mother rarely spanked her. Senua looked down and was met with something perhaps not so shocking. The blood had been there, the multiple hits from the sticks had cracked open her skin, leaving it battered and bruised. “What is wrong with you?!” The Light spoke.

 

“She's possessed!” One of the women said.

 

“We were only trying to save our children!” Another said.

 

_Hear that Senua? They wanted to save their children._

 

**From what you may ask?**

 

_**She knows.** _

 

_Of course she does._

 

_ They wanted to save their children from you! _

 

The Others were back with a vengeance, their laughter echoing in her head, bouncing off every wall of her cranium. She had turned on her side and put her hands over her ears and curled into a ball. She hoped that she would be able to curl herself into a ball so much that she would disappear. It was not the first time that she had been hit by the older villagers and she was sure that it wasn't going to be the last. What had she done in order to get _this_ beating though? She had cried over them when the creatures had taken them and cut them up right in front of her. Senua and pulled and broke her way out of her house in order to save them, and this is how she was repaid.

 

**You didn't honestly think that they'd thank you, did you?**

 

_I think she did! How hilarious!_

 

Hot tears gathered in Senua's eyes, she didn't care that they were stinging her or that she had dirt in her wounds and her pathetic whimpering was loud enough to be heard by the group that was around them, the other villagers getting away from the commotion as quickly as possible. _She_ had another possession. They all knew to get away from Senua when the Darkness possessed her.

 

“How can you be defending her?!” One of the people had yelled at the Light.

 

“She's a danger to everyone in the village!”

 

“The Darkness is going to consume us all if we keep her around!”

 

Despite all the yelling, the Light did not yell back. Senua covered her ears more, trying to drown out what they were saying. She had heard it so many times in her life, but it didn't stop the pain that it smacked her with no matter how much time had passed from one episode to another. The Light was silent, almost like he had walked away. Senua was silently praying that he didn't leave her with all those people who wanted her dead. Just when she was losing all hope and was about to open her mouth to ask that they just kill her, she heard that voice.

 

“Can you stand?” It was the Light. It had spoken to her. Although it was muffled from her covering her ears to drown out the other villagers. Senua uncovered her ears and turned her head. What she saw surprised her even more. A large, calloused hand was reaching out for her. Unconsciously, Senua flinched away. Hands had brought nothing more than pain since her mother died, escaping the Darkness. Her action didn't seem to insult the Light in any way. He just waited patiently for an answer.

 

“I...” Senua began and looked from his hand and up to his face for the first time. A strong jawline framed a small concerned smile, his brows were furrowed in worry. His eyes... she could get lost in those eyes. Deep brown eyes that seemed like they held every answer to every question that she could ever come up with. She raised her hand, hesitant to take his.

 

_This is a joke. He doesn't want your filthy hand._

 

**No, I'm sure he does.**

 

_**He seems nice enough.** _

 

**Do you really believe that?**

 

_ What? You don't? _

 

_**How can we?** _

 

**Senua, you don't believe in him, do you?**

 

_**Yes she does!** _

 

_Only if she's stupid._

 

Senua isn't stupid.

 

**Think what you will.**

 

Senua looked back at the hand again. He didn't rush her to make a decision. He just stood there with his hand held out, the others watching from a distance on what _it_ would do. Hesitating a couple times, but ultimately pushing passed it, she put her bloodied and dirtied hand into his. Gently, almost like a feather, she was pulled to her feet. The Light glared at the others who immediately found something more interesting than them. Her blue eyes chanced a glance at his face again, and she saw him smile when their eyes met. Quickly, she looked away. All too quickly, the Light let go of Senua's hand, but then replaced it on her shoulder.

“You're hurt.”

 

“It... It's nothing.” Senua tried to reason. This really was nothing compared to what the villagers had done before or what her father had done to try and beat the Darkness out of her.

 

“Don't be like that. Let me help you take care of those wounds.”

“I... I can do it myself.”

 

_What are you doing?_

 

_**Senua!** _

 

**Someone's trying to help you! You think that's going to happen again?**

 

_Stop that. Senua will be fine._

 

Trying to push them out of her mind, she nodded before she could regret it. The Light guided her more towards the back part of the village where the Elder's house was. Why was he taking her there? The whole way, the Light didn't speak. Neither did she, even though she wanted to ask him so many things. Why did he stop them? Why was he helping her? She didn't have anything to give him, so it wasn't like he would get anything out of it. Why were they heading to the Elder's house?

 

“Come in.” The Light instructed and she ducked her head inside after staring at him for a couple seconds.

 

_The Elder's son!_

 

**You may just be right!**

 

_**Hear that, Senua? Someone important took notice of you!** _

 

Senua swallowed the lump in her throat and hobbled inside. The Light instructed her to sit at chair further into the house and disappeared. Every fiber of her being was torn before bolting back to home or looking around the house. Before she could decide, she heard a voice coming from another part of the house.

 

“Are you home my son?” Senua knew the voice. It was the village elder's voice. The Others were right. The Light _was_ the elder's son. He paused and then he looked at Senua. Something wasn't right about his gaze though, his eyes were clouded and held no light in them. “Who is there?” He was blind.

 

“I don't know.” The Light had come from the other room with a bowl and a rag in his hands. “Father, you should take a seat.”

 

“There was a lot of commotion, I wanted to come and see--... well, I wanted to find out what was going on.”

 

“This girl, Father, some of the villagers were harming her.”  
  
“Then you must've saved her.”

 

“I did.” The Light dipped the rag into the water. All the while Senua was looking between them. She wasn't sure of what to say or if there really was anything that she could say to them.

 

_You should thank him._

 

**Pathetic that you can't even do that right.**

 

_**Come on Senua, I know you can do it.** _

 

“T-Thank you... for saving me.” Senua finally said and looked as the Light broke into a bright smile. He looked even more bright than he had before he smiled. It was blinding and she had to look away from him, hoping that he didn't see the pink blush that dusted her cheeks.

 

“I'm sorry that I didn't get there sooner.” The Light said and gently cleaned off her wound.

  
“You don't have to do that, I-”

 

“Consider it an apology for not getting there sooner.”

 

“It's alright, Young One.” The Elder said and looked through Senua. “I'm sorry that this happened to you. I will find some way to take care of it.”

 

_Senua, you found friends._

 

**Friends? Senua? Ha!**

 

Senua watched as the Light tentatively and gently cleaned her cuts, making sure not to put too much pressure and had apologized whenever she had flinched or winced. This was the first time other than her mother where people had been kind to her. She wasn't sure what to do or even how to properly act or thank them.

 

“What is your name, Young One?” The Elder asked.

 

“Senua.”

 

“Ah, Zynbel's daughter...” The Light said and his brows furrowed. Was it in anger? Thought? Worry?

 

_Senua, he knows you!_

 

**Probably because of how pathetic she is!**

 

_**It isn't like that!** _

 

**Can you be so sure? Senua, you aren't anything to them. Don't forget that.**

 

“Yes...”

 

The Light stopped for a moment and looked up at her locking blue with a deep brown.

“My name is Dillion.”

 

_The Light. He has a name._

 

**A stupid one. He's just being polite Senua, don't get used to it. He'll stop being your friend when he finds out exactly what you are.**

_ **Stop!** _

 

“And I am Druce, Young One.” The Elder said and Senua dipped her head in respect. Not many of the villagers had seen the Elder, let alone know his name. She had wondered why, now it was apparent.

 

“It is a honor.” Senua said and Druce chuckled and shook his head.

 

“It is nothing, Child.”

 

Senua listened as Druce told her stories of when he was young and when he met his wife, Aigneis. He spoke fondly of her, and Senua could see in his smile and his expressions that he had truly loved the woman and still missed her to this day. Dillion said nothing and smiled, listening to his father bring up his mother. She wanted to know when Aigneis had passed, since she couldn't remember. Her own mother had taken her life when she was five years old to escape the Darkness. Perhaps her mother and Aigneis had been friends at one time, she would like to think so. Aigneis must have passed before or around the same time, since she couldn't remember anything about the woman. This was peace. Pure and utter peace. It had been a long time since she had known peace, all those years since her mother died. She had been so enraptured, she didn't notice the time going by.

 

_Senua!_

 

**Senua!**

 

_**Senua!** _

 

**The sun!**

 

_The sun! Look!_

 

Senua had been enjoying Druce and Dillion's company so much. Of course, all good things had to come to an end. The orange-yellow hue of the evening sun filtered into the house through the window. Without warning, she stood up and began retreating.  


“Thank you very much for helping me and talking to me, I... I have to leave. It's late.”

 

Senua hoped that her excuse was good enough and she left, bolting towards her home. She prayed with everything that she was that her father wasn't home. She had caused a scene in the village and if that wasn't enough for a beating as it was, she had been gone so long. By the time she reached her home, her chest was heaving. Her hand had just touched the doorknob when the door swung open and her father stood towering over her, looking more menacing than normal. She didn't have time to open her mouth before his hand gripped around her arm like a vice and she was pulled into the house. Just like normal, screaming came from Senua's home as her father tried to exorcise the Darkness from her, through all the pain he knew how to inflict.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you enjoyed this chapter. Dillion was really fun to write. I gave the Elder a name that means "wise" and I gave his wife Aigneis a name that means "pure". I felt like it was a good name, and really could give them a little more insight to characters and show that Dillion's family was just as gentle as he is. Leave a review or kudos, or whatever you'd like. I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as I can.


	4. UPDATE ON "HER WORLD"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> All I can say is I'm sorry and thank you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey there guys, you may not like what I'm going to do with this right now, but giving the explanation that I will, I hope that you understand.

Dear readers of "Her World",

First, and foremost, I would like to apologize for taking so long to get this out to you. Those of you that have been following this and enjoying it, I cannot describe to you how much it means to me.  _You_ guys are the reason that I get up and want to write. Unfortunately, however, life has not been so kind to me recently. Since life hasn't been kind to me, the ripple effect has trickled down to you, my beloved readers. "Her World" is on hiatus until I am able to get back on my feet and finish some of the works that I already have going on.

Let me repeat that again:  ** _HIATUS_** I will  _not_ be stopping "Her World" and never finishing it. I promise you that I will return some time to conclude Senua's story in this fic. I am aware this is unfair and honestly, it's rather rude. I hope that you'll allow me to explain what happened:

 

Everything started going downhill in October. My mother had been sent home from work with a fever. We all assumed that it was stress and that she'd get in bed and drink some fluids and get better. However, Monday rolled around and she still wasn't better. Let me clarify this: my mother is  _never_ sick so when she does come down with something, it's scary. Well, leaving her in the care of my grandparents and thinking she was alright, I went to my friend's house and stayed the night with her and her boyfriend.

In the morning, I was called that my mother had fallen that morning and was put in the hospital. When my friend and her boyfriend got me to the hospital, I was informed that my mother had a tumor the size of a softball on her brain where it had attached itself. I felt like my world was crashing down around me and I honestly wanted to die. My mom is my world. Since my parents divorced and my dad left, it's only been my mom and I for most of my years on this earth. About a few hours later, I was informed that they were going to do brain surgery in order to remove the tumor. I was still in school for that semester, so I wasn't able to be there for my mom when she went into surgery.

Thankfully, the surgery had been a success. Part of the tumor still remains because it had attached itself to a vital vein and trying to remove it could have caused major brain damage and for it to hemorrhage. They sent the tumor in for a test where it came back cancer. Again, my world felt like it came crashing down. It was stage 2 brain cancer and my mom had to undergo radiation. Thankfully, however, that went perfectly fine. Now all we're waiting for on  _that_ front is for her to get an MRI and see where we stand and go from there. This was all during the last bit of my Fall semester in college as well as Christmas and New Years.

**_Merry Christmas and Happy New Year to all of my readers I didn't get to wish it to._ **

 

Recently, my Spring semester had started back up. Now I'm dealing with classes again, but that isn't all. Nope. Not even close. My best friend's had family issues; their mother had passed in September and due to  _extreme_ issues with their father, they--and all their animals--have relocated to my house. Now all of us are trying to balance this out together and figure out how to live all in one room with our now 11 dogs, 5 bird cages, 3 chickens, a hamster, and two cats. ( _That part is a little funny, I know._ )

 

As you can see though, I have  _not_ forgotten about you guys. In fact, I had tried writing chapters, but I ended up falling asleep from all the stress and exhaustion of everything happening all at one time. I hope you all understand, and I am so,  _so, **so**_ sorry that this had to be the update that you guys got after all that waiting. Like I said though, I  _will_ return to the story when things slow down a bit and I get some breathing room. Please be patient with me, I beg of you.

 

Forever in your lovely readers' debt,

-Mikuxmew85

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want the readers--again--to know that this wasn't anything personal with them OR this story in general. The reason chapters for the others will be published is because some of them have been pre-written, while the others I've had an outline written for the upcoming chapters. Senua's story was something that I was writing from my head and a place in my soul and emotions, dealing with her trauma.
> 
> Thank you guys again for your patience and understanding. <3


	5. Normal

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They’re not going to bite, Stupid.
> 
> You never know anymore.
> 
> Senua, you’re doing great.
> 
> Was this really happening? Or was it just some sort of twisted game?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers, I know that this is kind of breaking what I had previously said, but here is another chapter. I had gotten a full time job and went to school so I didn't have enough time in a day, but now that I quit my job I found more time, but I was still busy. Spring Break is here though, and I found some time to write a chapter and got struck with some inspiration.
> 
> Despite this, "Her World" is still most likely on hiatus. To be honest, I'm shocked that I even got this chapter out, but something struck them feels in me enough in order to write this. I know it was a long wait for you readers (and the ones that are still reading) and I apologize and hope this chapter was worth at least a little of the wait.
> 
> Please enjoy!

                Words. Funny isn’t it, how a group of letters can make someone feel a certain way? A human being is such a complex creature, that many times there are aspects that aren’t seen. Yet through all of the obstacles in life and the many masks that we hide behind every day, there are still simple things that can shake us down to the core. Unfortunately, not all of us are able to have a plethora of good words surrounding them from their loving friends and family. No. Far too often, there are times where a simple kind word causes distress amongst the hurt. It can turn someone’s world completely upside down, making them question everything they thought they knew. A kind word can make the hurt start to see that there is in fact another side of the metaphorical coin, and that side is shining and full of light. Many times, the hurt are seen as parasites. They’re seen as something less than human, something that doesn’t deserve the life that they’ve been given. Judged by those who deem themselves worthy enough to pass such a judgement on someone, believing themselves able to differentiate between what is normal and what is not; they’re sequestered from society.

Our dear Senua is one of these “hurt”, one of these people plagued by the Darkness. For many years, she has found herself being the object of sidelong glances and whispers during the night. Passersby from the village staring at her and pulling their children closer to their sides trying to shield their offspring from the Darkness that is believed to be held. For years, her father has told her that she was possessed and needed to be cleansed; that the gods had found favor in him as their instrument to bring harmony among the village and keep it pure. For years, she believed what Zynbel said to be as just as scripture. The devout man that he is, there was no reason that he would lie to her. What would he have to gain?

Yet, as Senua pondered recent events in her room, her world seemed to be turning around and around trying to grip onto something that would stop everything from turning. Numbers were at a loss for how many times she had been told that everyone outside would try to kill her because of the Darkness. While, yes, some did try to harm her there were others who did not. One of the outsiders saved her and tried even more so to protect her. Even though the others outside had harmed her, the one who had split her skin and spilled her blood more than anyone was the man in the other room that she knew as “Father”.

_Senua!_

**Senua!**

Shocked by the sudden screaming from the Others, Senua stopped in her tracks.

**_About time you listened._ **

**_ Can’t even do that right, can you? _ **

_She was lost in her thoughts, leave her alone._

**Lost in her thoughts?**

**_Without us?_ **

I’m insulted.

                Already, the Others collaborated with a ferocity to stun a Devil. She felt nauseous and instantly placed her hand on the wall to steady her shaking form. Sweat pricked on her hairline, making her body shiver like she had been thrown out in the coldest snow of the winter, Her grip tightened on the wall, a small part of her mind believing that was going to save her.

**_How cute, don’t you think?_ **

A wall isn’t going to save you.

**How pathetic.**

_What’s wrong, Senua?_

** I bet she’s thinking about that boy again, aren’t you? **

**What was his name again?**

**_Nothing important._ **

                Senua felt her knees begin to buckle, but she kept her back against the wall. Falling right now, she felt, would admit defeat. Whether it was to the torture just inflicted on her by her father or by the taunting of the Others, she wasn’t quite sure. Either way, Senua was a lot of things, but a quitter wasn’t one.

“You’re wrong.”

**I’m sorry, what did you say?**

**_ Did she just do what I think she did? _ **

“He _is_ important.” Senua’s breathing was frantic now, almost like she had run around the village five times, or had been through hours of sword training. Saying it out loud made it real. He was a light. Her Light. She had watched and then-a couple weeks ago-she had met him. If she died right now, from whatever was creeping up on her body, she would be happy. Of course, Senua would’ve liked to have spent more time with him. Who wouldn’t?

                Dillion was unlike anyone that she had ever met or even seen. He thought of her like a person, like a _normal_ person. He didn’t pass judgement on her. Whenever she had saw him through the small bars separating her from the rest of the world, he always had a kind smile on his face despite the sword he had been able to wield so fiercely. He had the whole world wrapped around his fingers. She wanted to see more of him, to learn from him and to be able to feel his kindness. She would want to call his happiness as contagious as a disease, but that seemed an insult to his kind nature. Yet, Senua could find no other way to describe it. Whenever she would see Dillion, without knowing, a small smile would come to her face. There was no one else like him. The Others always pointed it out to her and then berated her for it. If it was for Dillion though, honestly, she didn’t mind. She pressed her face against the bars, her eyes searching for him with all their might. A thought dawned on her: Zynbel wasn’t there today. He was gone for some rituals for the gods. Pulling back from the bars, she realized how much she had been pressing against them; her skin hurt and upon touching the skin of her face little indentations from the bars marked her.

_Senua, what are you thinking?_

**_She’s like a moth to a flame._ **

**_ Do you  _ ** ** like _getting hit?_ **

_Senua…_

                “He’s the only friend I have.” Senua protested, yanking on her door with all of her might, digging a small shiv she had into the meeting point of the door against the wall.

**_Friend? You have no friends._ **

Ignoring the Others blatant insults and laughter, she pushed harder and felt a small smile come to her face upon hearing the creaking of the door. A loud crack and some of the wood had chipped away, just enough for her to open her door and escape. She put everything back the best that she could, so if her father returned home before she did it would give the illusion that she was still cramped into her room. She had already received her exorcism for today, so he would leave her alone until the sun had set well passed the horizon.

Before she could even process what she was doing, she was outside. The soft breeze caressed her skin and moved the leaves in the colorful trees surrounding her home. From her window, the village looked so beautiful, but it was nothing compared to standing outside and seeing it yourself and being able to touch the rough bark of the trees and the velvet petals of the vivid blue and pink flowers dotting around their homes and near the center. With all her might, she wanted to run and find him. However, she remembered how the villagers had treated her before and one of the last things that she wanted to happen was for a repeat of that event. Holding back her desperation, she fast walked towards the center of the village.

_What…?_

                Senua looked around and saw that when she received a glance from some villagers, a smile was an accompanying gesture. A stark contrast to what it had been previously. A little boy and girl were even running around the center of the village and had run around her before continuing off in their little playful game. What was the most shocking of all was that no one was paying attention to her more than any other villager. She received a wave, a small smile, but primarily she was being left alone. If Senua was being honest, it was making her uncomfortable. There wasn’t a time that she could remember where they had treated her with such… humanity.

**_They’re not going to bite, Stupid._ **

You never know anymore.

_Senua, you’re doing great._

                The Others showed up in her mind once more, taking part of her attention away from the monumental moment. She didn’t want to lose even the smallest amount of focus in case something changed. A moment like this was to be locked away in her memory forever; unchanging, untouched. Her feet took her through even the busiest parts of the village, and again she remained unnoticed. A bright smile spread across her face. Is this what being normal felt like?

**You’re not normal.**

_Senua is a person just like everyone else._

Who are you trying to fool?

**_ We know what she is. _ **

_Don’t listen to them Senua, this is_ your _moment._

**_Hey what’s that?_ **

**Where?**

**_ There! _ **

Look.

Senua followed the voices and stopped where she stood. Right there at the pathway leading up to the grand tree that watched over the village like their deity, the flowers were all in bloom. A week ago, they had all been buds and now as if christening her crossing into normalcy among the others, the flowers had sprouted to show their colors. Without caring for her previous worries of her fellow villagers, she ran to the entrance of the pathway. Before she had left the house, Dillion had been here, but she had been unable to get here quick enough. Even though this fact made her body twinge with sadness, she found herself unable to stay sad with the flowers surrounding her, almost as if they were turning to look and smile. The light breeze that accompanied the beautiful scenery only heightened the fragrance her surroundings were giving off.

**_What if Zynbel finds you here?_ **

                Senua shook her head, she didn’t want to think about that. Even if he did, if this was the last thing that she was able to see before she was shut back in her room then she would be okay. It felt as though time had stopped and it was just her and the flowers. The velvet petals skittering across her ankles wanting to make their presence known so they could be gazed upon with awe. Not wanting to disappoint any of them, she took her time marveling at each one; the way they stood, the way they waved in the gentle breeze, the colors of their petals, their stems, their—

“You’re here.” Quickly and on full alert, Senua turned around fully expecting to see her father there ready for another exorcising. However, it couldn’t have been further from the truth. Perfection of about three heads taller than her accompanied with a bright smile and even brighter eyes met her own. “Somehow, I knew you would be.”

“I-I um…”

“You remember me, right?”

**_Of course! You’re all she thinks about! It gets so annoying!_ **

                Senua looked down, unable to hold eye contact with him anymore. His bright light was going to blind someone as dark as her. For some reason, her stomach began to feel weird too and it became a little harder to swallow. Ah, it had to be the lack of water she had. That was the only thing that would make sense.

“Dillion…” A small laugh followed her shy answer and caused her to look from under her lashes to see his smile spread even further and even brighter. The laugh wasn’t the heckles that she had gotten used to though.

“Yes, that’s right. I’m glad you remembered.” Dillion said, his tone not rising, but not falling either. He was keeping a consistent tone. Almost like talking to a scared child. In a way, that’s what she was. There were many things about the outside world that she was still ignorant about.

**_ Don’t get your hopes up. He’s not going to remember your name. _ **

“I’m glad to see that you’re alright, Senua.”

_Ha!_

“I… You don’t have to be worried about me.”

“But I was.” Dillion protested, smiling at her. “I was worried that something would happen to you on your way home, or even worse when you actually _got_ home.”

                Senua didn’t have the heart to tell him that when her father got to her that day, she hadn’t been able to walk without a limp for the next two days. She didn’t know Dillion very well, but she could tell that he took other people’s problems as his own. He would instantly feel like what happened was his fault and that he somehow could’ve prevented it. She knew all about that feeling and how much of a hole it could leave in someone’s heart and soul.

“It was fine.” A relieved exhale caused Senua to look up at him in full view.

“I’m very glad to hear that.”

“…” Senua lowered her eyes to the ground beneath them. Silence filled the empty space and she expected Dillion to walk away at any minute, annoyed that she wasn’t saying anything. He didn’t. This man was a mystery the more time she spent with him. Senua found herself wanting to learn more and more about her friend.

“The flowers are beautiful this time of year, aren’t they?” Dillion broke the silence and turned his attention from her to the many flowers around them. “And the tree looks like it’s protecting them as well, doesn’t it?”

“…”

_‘Yes’_ Senua thought but couldn’t make her lips form the words.

“I think so too.” When Dillion met the surprised look on her face, he simply shrugged. “I could just tell that’s what you were thinking.”

“… I like the tree… and the flowers.” Senua managed to get out. The more time that passed between them, the harder she found it to be able to form sentences. She knew what she wanted to say, but she wasn’t able to get it out. The sentence that she did come up with sounded so stupid, she was sure that he wouldn’t want to be friends with her anymore.

“I do too.” Dillion chuckled. “Hey, you don’t get out of your house much, right?”

“…”

“I didn’t think so.”

**_Is he a mind reader?_ **

**_ How does he know what you’re thinking? _ **

** Watch out Senua, I don’t like this. **

_Stop trying to deter her. Dillion isn’t a bad guy._

**How the hell do you know that?**

**_ Will you just shut up?! _ **

                A hand thrusted out at her. It wasn’t the type of hand that she was used to seeing; the palm was up in an inviting way. When she looked from the hand to Dillion’s face, she found herself looking back down at that same hand that had helped her that day. Calloused, large, and very kind.

“…”

“Since Zynbel doesn’t let you go anywhere, there are places in the village that I can show you that I’m sure you haven’t seen.”

“… why?”

“Why?” Dillion repeated and tilted his head to the side. A gesture she had seen many of the villagers do, confusion marking his face just as it had the others she had observed. “I want to spend time with my friend.”

**_Friend?_ **

_ What? _

**I don’t believe it.**

Senua made a friend. Maybe you’re not so hopeless after all.

** I wouldn’t trust it. **

_You don’t trust anything. Go for it, Senua._

Senua reached out and grabbed his hand after a few moments of hesitation. It didn’t deter Dillion in the slightest that it took her so long. There was so much determination and so much understanding in one person, she was starting to wonder if he was just a vision from the Darkness. It would just be her luck that the Darkness would summon something like this to toy with her and make her think that she had a friend just to take it away and watch her face fall and tears stain her cheeks.

_‘No. That’s not true. It isn’t.’_ She told herself repeatedly. Many people had reacted with Dillion too, and she had even been to his home and seen his father. The village chief. It was real, _he_ was real.

“Thank you for trusting me.”

                Senua looked at their hands. He was still holding onto her’s. The thought crossed her mind of ripping it from him, his touch burning her like bright hot light. At the same time, she didn’t want Dillion to think that she didn’t like his company. She had just made a friend, and the last thing she knew how to do was how to maintain a friendship with them. Just as she was about to try and force out a sentence asking him to let go, he let go of her hand gently.

“It’ll be fun. I promise.” He gestured her along and walked side by side with her on the other side of the pathway, passing by the flowers and the guardian tree. Senua couldn’t wait to see where Dillion was taking them. He wanted to spend time with her. _Her._ She wasn’t a freak. There wasn’t anything wrong with her. She _was_ normal. The Darkness didn’t have a hold on her. At least not when Dillion was around. He burned away the Darkness and every moment she spent with him, clarity ensued to where she could appreciate every little detail she had missed in the years she had been stuck in her room. He didn’t rush her even though she was sure that he had seen this view many times. He would stop even when she would hesitate just for a moment and let her take in the view or run her hand against a flower or touch a tree. Her cheeks began to hurt and Senua began to worry. What was happening? Was something wrong? What one of the Others told her shook Senua to her core.

_I have never seen you smile so much. I’m proud of you, Senua. You made a friend._

_‘Yes. Yes I did.’_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had some Senua/Dillion feels while I was writing this and had to stop multiple times to fangirl a little bit to myself since everyone in my house (minus myself and my sister) are sleeping. Again, I'm sorry, but I still have the status of "Her World" as HIATUS because I don't want you beautiful fans to hope and hope and wait and watch for an update on the regular, because as of what's happening in my life right now, I still can't promise that. Once things settle, I S W E A R to you guys I will get back to it. However, if I get struck by the feels like I did this time, we may get another chapter.
> 
> ANYWAY! Leave a comment to let me know what you think or some kudos to let me know you were here. I really appreciate it and can't tell you what it means to me. Thank you again.
> 
> -Mikuxmew85


	6. UPDATE ON "HER WORLD"

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Thank you very much for reading! :D

Thanks so much for reading "Her World". I greatly appreciate it, more than I can say.  ** _You_** guys are the reason that keep me writing and keep me going. I  ** _genuinely_** appreciate it more than I can say. Unfortunately, I have been unable to keep to the schedule that I'd like to. My finals were taking up a lot of time, and I kinda had to study, but then I was worried because I had to prepare for some speeches for class.  ** _Then_** after that, I was getting some sleep so I could write a proper chapter for all you wonderful people that have been waiting. Unfortunately, my grandmother had a heart attack and fractured her ankle when she fell. She was in the hospital for I think two days and now she's in physical therapy.

 

**_Thankfully_** , the only problem that she had was the fractured ankle. As I'm sure you're all aware, an elderly person falling could definitely be fatal. The woman's almost 80 years old. Since she's bitching about everything, I'm assuming that she's getting better--slowly but surely. More than I can say, I am  _so_ sorry that it's taking me so long to update for you guys. My life has been one problem after another and as much as I wish I was making it up, I couldn't if I tried. One thing is happening after the other, so I hope you all understand and that you're patient with me.

 

My code monkey--whom I love so much--hasn't been able to get the layout done for my tumblr, but, since you're all being as patient and wonderful as you are. I'm going to try my hardest in order to keep some previews and some drabbles for you amazing people. If it would be wanted, I would also do some prompts for you followers. I know you're all able to see the content of my tumblr  _without_ following. However, as mean as it is to say, these sort of features--such as the prompts--would only be available to the followers. It doesn't cost anything to follow and it would mean the world to me in order for you all to follow me that way I can gauge my follower base (which is probably super small, but still).

 

_Anyway,_ without further ado, here it is:

 

[kawaiibobatea.tumblr.com](https://archiveofourown.org/works/12310455/chapters/kawaiibobatea.tumblr.com)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promise with all my heart that I WON'T stop writing this fanfiction. I WILL complete it, and I hope that all you wonderful people will keep reading until the end.


	7. Monochrome and Red

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “No! No!” She screamed, slamming him against a nearby tree. Thankfully, the monster seemed to be able to feel pain just like a human. Taking this new-found knowledge, Senua rammed into another tree with determination. She wasn’t going to die here. She couldn’t die here.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all, I would like to apologize (I tend to do that a lot) for the extended amount of time you've had to wait for a chapter of “Her World”. If some of you have moved on to different fanfictions, then I will understand as I don’t have a right to ask you to stay and wait with me since you all have lives and I’m sure get tired of waiting for mine to get back on fucking track. Trust me, I know the feel.
> 
> However, I feel it’s only fair to let you guys know what has been keeping me away from writing: 
> 
> First of all, I had a lack of motivation and a lot of self-doubt lately. While I like to put emotion into my fanfictions, I didn’t feel that hostile and deep an emotion as I was feeling should be put into my fanfiction without reason. 
> 
> Second of all (the main reason), the “friend” that had been living with me decided she didn’t want to be friends with me. She called me… a loser along with a lot of things I really don’t want to repeat, which caused my depression and self-loathing to increase as we’d been friends for 6 years and been through many things together. I’ve striven to be the best friend that I can be, and be as supportive as I can. However, there were times that I needed to vent my feelings (no matter how ridiculous they are or how strange they sound). Sometimes even I don’t know why I feel the things that I do, which I clearly state the best I am able, and I just want the person to listen. I was told that I’m hostile and I hold things against people and therefore they don’t feel comfortable talking to me about them. Now, that is the person’s prerogative mind you and I am in no way trying to make the person feel like their opinion isn’t important. I simply wish that my opinion was at least listened to, even if I didn’t understand it myself that way I was able to get it off my chest and you know, work through it. The inability to do this has left me feeling like my opinion–and myself–rather invalid and unimportant and like a burden.
> 
> Third of all, I recently found out that I more than likely have an eating disorder. Learning this put a lot of things in perspective for me, and I’m currently trying to come to terms with it, work through it, and beat it.
> 
> There are a few other factors that accounted for my absence. Maybe in time, I’ll have the heart or desire to type them all out. I didn’t forget about the fanfictions nor the people that are reading them, in fact I thought about it all every single day, but due to everything I haven’t felt good enough to come to you all with a new chapter, and… I’m honestly still not sure about it, but I’m going to try my hardest. Please keep in mind that I am not telling you all this to request pity or anything else of that nature.
> 
> Thank you all for reading and hopefully staying by my side,
> 
> -Mikuxmew85
> 
> P.S. This is a chapter more on the gory side, so if you're not good with that kind of stuff, you may have an issue.

Senua looked at her hand that was in Dillion’s. The feeling that spread through her was reminiscent vaguely of what it felt like when her mother held her hand. The petals swirling in the air gave rise to a scent too amazing to be of this world. Even the Others were at a loss for words when surrounded by the beauty of the guardian tree and its surrounding flower children. Her mother used to walk with her up and down the pathways of the village when she was young to take in the flowers, the greenery, and the beauty of the sunlight against the surface of the water. With Dillion, it felt the same. Almost like her mother was with her again. Perhaps her mother had sent him to her in an attempt to give Senua someone who would understand her and accept her through her flaws.

**_Who would accept you?_ **

Senua’s eyes widened, her heart racing with just the four words that were whispered in her ear. The sky dimmed around them. It looked like the smoke that remained when someone had snuffed out a candle. She pulled her hand back from the flower petals her fingers were caressing with a wince. The once beautiful petals of pastel colors ranging among the various colors of the rainbow in an incredulous amount of shades now all looked the same; shriveled, dark, and black. Red flames mutilated the flower petals, jealous for their beauty and desperate to claim it for themselves. The burns on her hand were evidence of their anger.

Crows screeched against the sky, calling her attention to her surroundings. From a gray, the sky had turned red like the gods had been crying tears of blood. The well-worn path beneath her feet felt hot as coals and as protruding as nails against her shoes. Senua pushed her and Dillion further from the path that continued to burn, as if following them. When the Darkness came, her mother would save her. If she could be there and save Dillion, she would burn before he would. She turned to look behind them, the fire still burning its way through the dirt and taking the flowers along with the guardian tree.

“Senua…”

Senua turned to face the voice. Where Dillion had once been standing, a creature of the Darkness took his place. She screamed, attempting to pull her hand from its hand. The creature’s face was an animal’s skull, like a crow in a way. Blood was seeping from the eye sockets and gushing out of a large gaping wound in the neck. To Senua, the creature looked like it had been decapitated and then its head had been haphazardly placed back on the rest of the body. Oh Gods… the body, if it could even be called that, was a skeleton full of bruised and cracked bones. With each movement the creature took, some of the rotting skin attaching itself to the bones would fall with a wet _thump_ to the burning pathway with flies and gnats trying to get a bite of their own. Senua felt like she wanted to puke. Being primarily skeleton, she had no idea where all the flesh that was piling up beneath it was coming from. Senua screamed again, the place where the creature had grabbed her wrist scalding and scorching her fair skin.

“Let me go!” Senua screamed. “Let me go!”

As she tried to tug herself free, other creatures formed from the smoke of the now burning village materialized around the one that kept her wrist held in its vice. Senua took the knife out of her back and stabbed the creature’s wrist, slitting the top as deep as she could. The monster howled in pain, maggot filled vomit exiting its oral orifice to trail down its face and body some of it splashing onto Senua and let her go, holding onto its wrist red lights of death glowing in its sockets. Senua turned, holding onto her own burned wrist as she ran.

_Senua! Look!_

**There!**

**_Over there!_ **

Senua had never been so happy to hear the Others in her whole life. Standing in the middle of the village was a little girl with a stuffed animal in her arm’s grip. She was crying and holding onto her stuffed animal, begging her mother to come and save her. Senua stopped and turned towards the little girl and bolted to her. Piles of meat littered the ground in various places, where she could only assume were the remains of the villagers who had been killed by these creatures.

“I’ll be there soon!” Senua told the girl who had looked up at her. “It’ll be okay!”

Senua had just gotten to the girl and gripped onto her small hand when a wisp of smoke appeared behind the little girl. The monster was too fast and picked up the little girl.  
“Stop! Let her go! It’s me you want!” The monster didn’t pay attention and while the girl continued to scream, it ripped her head apart by her hair, tearing her in half by her hair. The little girl’s eyes rolled in the back of her head and one last strangled cry left her mouth before blood poured out. The monster continued to tear the flesh from the bones and _swallow_. The gulping of ingested child made Senua’s stomach churn. The only thing that was left was some of the meat that had attached itself too much, the bones, and the stuffed animal. “Why?!” Senua screamed. The pile of bones moved and stood the skeleton of the little girl with the stuffed animal in its bony hand.

“…Your fault.” The little girl pointed a finger at Senua. The little bear along the girl’s side raised a paw.

“Your fault!” It screeched with red eyes.

_Turn around!_

**Go!**

Run!

**_Hurry!_ **

Senua’s eyes widened and she shook her head in disbelief. The village that she had called home was in ruins and these creatures had taken the lives or forms of the residents of her home. She stepped back, all the monsters shambling towards her.  
_“Your fault. Your fault. Your fault.”_ They chanted in their demonic voices. Senua turned around and ran towards the gate, tears falling down her face all the while.

_Senua! Hurry!_

Glancing behind her, the monster who had had a hold of her was running full force after her. She pushed open the gate and slipped through it, letting it close behind her. She ran as fast as her legs could take her, darting through the trees outside of the forest. She took shelter in a hollowed-out log. If she could keep him off her trail for a little longer, she could make a break for it to… wherever. It didn’t matter. Senua knew she had to get away from _there._ Branches cracked further away than she had originally thought. Senua put a hand over her mouth to hide her heavy breathing.

“Senua!” The monster called, desperate to find her. “Senua!”

_I’m sorry… I’m so, so sorry…_

Senua cried doing her best to quiet her sobs. She would blame herself for that girl’s death until the day that she died. When she was comfortable with the distance, she pushed herself from the log and gave her surroundings a once over before picking a direction opposite of the monster and jogging away doing her best to avoid any fallen leaves or weakened branches that would crack if too much pressure were placed upon them. Senua froze when she heard her voice on the wind again. The monster craved for her blood… to do exactly what they had done to that little girl, if not something worse for trying to help her. Senua gripped onto the branch of a tree, preventing her from falling into a thorn bush. When she steadied herself once more, ready for a mad dash away, the branch flew from her hand when she let go and smacked her in the face hard enough to earn a scream of pain. A crack of a branch, closer than she would’ve liked, sounded and the fierce rampage of the monster trying to find her resumed.

When Senua turned, she tripped and landed on the thorned vines that extended from the main branch. She cried out in pain and pushed herself off the ground, not having the time or luxury to pay attention to the pain in her hands and knees from where she had pushed the thorns further into her skin. She held onto her arm which brandished a long gash from her fall. Despite all of her pain and wounds, she didn’t falter. She continued to run away from the monster.

_Hurry!_

**_Run!_ **

_Senua, he’s gaining on you!_

**We don’t want to die! Hurry!**

Senua let more tears fall, focusing on where her feet were and where they needed to be. She had been so focused on not tripping again, that the Others hadn’t told her how close it had gotten. There was a rather large gap separating this part of the forest to the other side. Senua didn’t know what was over there, but the only that she saw was freedom. She had backed up in order to get some traction for when she jumped, but she felt arms around her body, effectively incapacitating her from a grip at her abdomen and her clavicle.

“Senua…” It called, keeping her close and holding on tighter when Senua struggled.

“No! No!” She screamed, slamming him against a nearby tree. Thankfully, the monster seemed to be able to feel pain just like a human. Taking this new-found knowledge, Senua rammed into another tree with determination. She wasn’t going to die here. She _couldn’t_ die here. The monster’s grip loosened enough to where Senua could wiggle around. She took a deep breath and bit into the rotting flesh of the monster’s hand making him let her go. Having ground underneath her feet had never been so amazing. She didn’t have time to relax however, because it was still by her. With a scream of determination, Senua took its wrist, listening to it wail when she put pressure on the still fresh cut. More determined than she ever thought possible, she flung it over her shoulder to the soil at her feet. Senua exhaled and turned and made for the leap again. Just as her feet left the soil, a small tug pulled at her ankle. While it wasn’t enough to stop her, it was enough to throw her off kilter. Instead of hitting the ground and rolling like she wanted to, she rammed into the stone on the opposite where the bottom of a cliff jutted out. The stone that pointed out met her forehead and knocked her to the ground more effective than any monster.

_Senua! Get up!_

**Get up Senua!**

**_Now!_ **

_ Get up now!! _

_Senua! Please!_

“… I’m so sorry…” Senua whispered, her eyelids fluttering. It was becoming hard to see what was happening in front of her. Her vision was fading in and out.

**Senua! We don’t want to die!**

The monster on the other side stood up and shook its head, perhaps to rid itself of any dizziness. Did the monsters of the Darkness even get dizzy? Soon… it wouldn’t matter. It turned and looked at her, head lazing to one side. If a skull could smile, she would swear it was smiling at her; triumphantly.

“Senua…” It said, lumbering towards her slowly. Senua noted that it didn’t have any problem walking over the gap that she had jumped over. It just kept going like there wasn’t one there at all. It knelt beside her and her eyes peered into its hollow sockets. The last thing she heard before closing her eyes was the monster calling her name one more time.

_Senua? Senua! Please! Open your eyes!_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I really want to apologize for the short chapter. It isn't really fair for how long you waited. I was really craving to make a chapter just on Senua's breakdown and have us live through that and focus solely on that. I hope you at least liked what I did put out, and I'm going to keep going and keep fighting, so please bear with me.
> 
> Have a good day/night and let me know what you think.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope that all who read this enjoy it. Reviews, favorites, kudos and all that would mean so much to me to know that people are in fact not only reading it but taking time out of their day in order to let me know they enjoy it. From your comments, I'm also able to improve as a writer and bring you more quality work.
> 
> Also, portraying Senua is rather hard as I want to portray her without falling into the stereotypes that people afflicted with her disease have. I tried to make it very confusing and disorienting since while you play the game, it's what you experience through Senua's eyes.


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